MEMORIAL MARCH 30, 2014

March 30, 2014, Sunday. Memorial Celebration for Geraldine Clark Hickerson at my house was scheduled for 2-5 PM. People started arriving about Noon. So many people came and brought food like crazy. It was an interesting and very nice group of people. I had rearranged the house and paintings with help from Sharon, Bill, Bobbie and Mary. I had to empty the painting storage to find the big Rousseau painting and I can’t get all the paintings back in the closet. The stories were great! One thing is that Mom supplied lots of adventures and amazing stories for the world. I heard new ones! Brooks traveled again from OR and helped start putting everything back the next day. I had great help putting the food away as best we could after the party was over. Kim, Stuart, Brooks and I sat and talked into the night.

Set up for the Memorial.

It was a beautiful day so people sat and ate on the porch. There were children, too, to represent Life Goes On.

VISIT, THURSDAY, MARCH 20, 2014

March 20, 2014, Thursday. I went to Cooke-Walden to see Mom about 10 AM. She was in a dimly lit room in her green dress with a blanket over her. When I stroked her head, she was as cold as ice. The director, Zachary Kent, left us alone for awhile and I sketched her. She really wasn’t there and it was nice to feel that. I got to talk at her a bit, too. It is such a complicated bunch of feelings. Geraldine has left this world of troubles and had a long ride. Joys and fun and terrible trials all gathered in this mystery we call Life.

FUNERAL HOME, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19, 2014

March 19, 2014, Wednesday. I went to the funeral home yesterday, then to Retirement and Nursing Center. Afterwards I talked to Social Security, the Medical Examiner’s office and Mom’s bank on the phone. Enlightening.  The M.E. says that they have ruled Mom’s death as accidental with complications due to congestive heart disease and osteoporosis. I did not see any evidence of surface trauma but they say the break is consistent with some kind of trauma. Mom did forget that she couldn’t walk from time to time. I am so grateful for Mom’s pre paid cremation arrangement. The funeral home encounter was difficult, emotionally wrought but the big decisions were already made. I have trouble putting on my shoes much less trying to make big decisions. I have a very nice urn at the house ready for the ashes. They say the ashes will be ready before the Memorial Celebration on Sunday March 30, 2014, 2-5 PM. Also I found out that prepayment transfers to other funeral homes AND is refundable at about 90% if decisions change. Pre-pay your final arrangements!!! Prices are going up and up! Everyone is being very kind and helpful.

MOM LEFT THE STAGE

March 15, 2014, Saturday. I got a phone message from Nurse Mary at RNC about 1 AM that Mom had been pronounced dead by Hospice Nurse, Kathy Ballard, at 11:57 PM, March 14, 2014. August 19, 1919 – March 14, 2014 – Great synchronicity!  I called Kathy B. about 7 AM and spoke with her. She said because of the hip fracture Mom’s remains had been transferred to the M.E. office for examination. I called the M.E. office and spoke with Olivia. She said that there would not be cutting open the remains but would look at the records and look at the body to see that all was consistent then call Cook Walden to get Mom’s remains for cremation. I called Riley and told him. I will send out a family email and talk with the newspaper about the obituary today. We will have to plan a Memorial Service, probably at my house and probably next Sunday March 23, 2014 but that could change. Mom was 94 years old. She was a great personality in this world.

THURS., MARCH 13 & FRI., MARCH 14, 2013

March 13, 2014, Thursday.  I took Brooks and his luggage to the NH this morning about 10 AM. He will leave from NH this afternoon about 2 PM with his friend, Chuck. I spoke to Nurse Julia and Nurse John. They said that Wendy had bathed Mom this AM so they had given Mom pain meds for the procedure. We saw Wendy in the hallway and she said Mom told her “leave me alone!” That’s a good sign! I opened the blinds when we went in and the squirrel was performing his acrobatics on the birdfeeder and there were birds around. Mom was resting, O2 on but cannula out of place. Mom was grouchy at first but I clapped hands, clapped her hands and sang “hey good looking…” and she smiled and attempted to participate, moving her mouth and smiling. We got cannula in place. I  left, went to the car and got birdseed and added to the feeder. From outside I saw C.N.A.s replacing the bed pad with folded sheet. Nurse John said that bed pad was there temporarily to assist in drying Mom. I went back inside, said good bye to Brooks. Annie from Activities came by and  introduced them and Brooks took a picture. I left about 10:20 AM.

March 14, 2014, Friday. Regina called at 1:30 PM from the NH to say that Mom has a low grade temperature, about 100. She said Mom’s lungs sound good so she suspects urinary tract infection (UTI). I asked about the triangle pillow and Regina said it couldn’t be here until Monday. I went to the NH about 4:40 PM. I filled both birdfeeders, blinds open. Mom was asleep with many pillows around her. The TV was on TCM. I changed the DVD and then put TV on TVLand for awhile (Andy Griffith). I couldn’t get Mom to wake up really. I did get some response from singing, patting her feet and hand slapping. She opened one eye occasionally. She did feel warm to touch and was coughing occasionally. C.N.A. Sefakor brought Mom’s tray. Dr. Maxwell came by and checked Mom’s pulse, temperature, lungs and tried to wake Mom. She said maybe they could reduce her pain meds but first she would talk to the C.N.A. about Mom’s pain level. I did not perceive any moaning or pain complaint from Mom. Mom ate a few bites of the foods and all of the dessert. I got her to drink about 20% of a cup of thickened water, one teaspoon at a time. Mom did hold my hand and made small responses to touch, stroking, hair brushing. C.N.A. Yvonne came by and petted, cooed to Mom and got Mom to open one eye and look at her. I put the DVD on and left about 6 PM. At home there was a long message from the Chaplain at Hospice, offering solace and giving instructions for reaching them in case I want or need them over the week-end.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12, 2014

March 12, 2014, Wednesday. Brooks walked to the NH this morning about 10 AM. Suzy came in and I met them at the NH and we went to lunch. We returned to the facility and Suzy left for home. C.N.A. Sandra and Adam changed Mom in her bed. Sandra said no more bed pads for Mom with the new air mattress. Brooks said that Regina told him that the triangle pillow hadn’t come yet. I went home about 2:15 PM and returned afoot about 2:45 PM and Brooks and I went to the Care Plan meeting. Riley showed up and came, too. Nurse Rose, the Hospice social worker, the facility social worker Rebecca, Hospice nurse Regina, Donna from Recreation all attended also.

1. The prognosis for Mom’s general decline is not good over the next 12 months. Mom may recover from fracture but not to previous state of wellness.

2.  Mom is on methadone for pain.

3.  The reason for no bed pads is the aeration is inhibited by bed pads.

4. Nursing will try to put her own clothes on her instead of the NH gowns.

5. Signs to watch for are unproductive cough, congestion, flushed face and expressions of distress or discomfort.

6. She gets nebulizer treatment 2 or 3 x daily.

7. Scheduled eye exam will be postponed until Mom can sit in a wheelchair.

8. Mom gets Boost as much as 3 x daily (450 calories each Boost) Mom has gained weight.

9. Watch for signs of bed sores on back side.

Brooks and I returned to Mom’s room. I gave her a drink. Brooks fed Mom some banana. We left the NH about 4 PM. Brooks was able to sketch Mom today and spent a lot of time with Mom.

TUES., MARCH 11, 2014

March 11, 2014, Tuesday. Brooks and I walked over to the NH about 10:15 this morning. Mom was sleeping in her bed. I looked at her toenails, feet. Brooks said he would trim her toenails. We put some cream on her and I checked her clothing. Her clothing looks in good shape and not much in the hamper. She has on a NH nightie this morning. The bird feeder looked good. Mom responded to greetings and touch. I left about 10:30 AM. Rebecca, the new Social Worker at the NH, called  about 1:30 PM to confirm care plan meeting tomorrow at 3 PM.  Brooks called from the NH about 5 PM saying that Mom would not wake up to eat. I suggested patting her feet. Brooks returned home about 7 PM and reported that the feet worked and Mom ate some supper. Plus Riley, Carl and Bill A. came by and visited at the NH. Brooks reported that Mom was still very sleepy but did respond somewhat to the visitors.